The escape, new freinds, and death!
by Ronin Zagarahi
Summary: The story title pretty much says it all. The YYH gang meets some unexpected criminals and ends up head over heels in trouble.
1. The Battle

Chapter One

The Battle

Ember and Ronin were running from two of the tantei, Yusuke and Kuwabara. They were cut off by a short fire demon with spikey black hair who was also a tantei, his name you ask? Hiei.

"Move!" Ember shouted at the short demon named Hiei.

"Make me." He responded sourly.

Ronin tried to kick him but that was quickly countered when Hiei shot a blast of flame at him. But Ember changed its course being able to control fire. (No he can't create it isn't it sad. Not really but eh who cares.) Now the giant ball of flame was on a crash course twords Kuwabara. And Kuwabara being the idiot he was didn't move.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS! AHHHH!" Kuwabara's voice rang.

"Wow." Everyone (even Ember and Ronin) said bluntly.

"What are you doing! Your suppose to be catching them!" Another demon's voice yelled as he jumped into battle.

He was Kurama another tantei. He has long red hair and a whip of thorns.

"Are you two stupid!" A woman's voice said.

"Yup." Ember and Ronin said with stupid smiles on their faces.

The woman who I shall name Shiva right now sighed. "Imbusils." Shiva said.

"We aren't idiots! Your the one who can't spell! im-ba-sil? What kind of word is that? Sounds important or something. Maybe its a type of food." Ember said.

"Actually its a type of demon that seems he cant shut up." Shiva said but Ember didn't catch this comment because he was too busy talking to himself.

This whole time they have been running away from the tantei and Shiva is just now growing tired of it so a portal appears and leads to who knows were via Shiva and she jumps in and ember and ronin trip on the edge and fall in.

Shiva was shaking her two servants that helped her escape from demon world. "Guys! You idiots! Wake up!" Shiva yelled in their ears.

Ember and Ronin almost instantly shot up knocking Ronin's head against Shiva's and when Ronin fell he landed on top of Ember causing them all to fall into a pile. Shiva got up rubbing her head and looked to see Ember and Ronin knocked out with swirly eyes. She shook her head."_ Idiots." _She thought.

With the gang

"Nooooooooooooo! We failed a case! Koenma is going to tan my hide!" Yusuke yelled and Kuwabara being an idiot as usual responded, "He spanks you?" and Kuwabara was still on fire and then noticed it again and ran around screaming again.

"Detective why don't you do the world some good and shut the baka up." Hiei said flatly.

"But..."

"No butts! Nobody cares about your butt!" Hiei said just to confuse the tantei.

"_But? Butt? But? Butt? Huh?" _Hiei had of course succeeded.

"Just put him out." Hiei said.

"Damn okay Mr. Pyromaniac!" Yusuke said tripping Kuwabara so he (Kuwabara) fell into the pond which just so happened to be in front of Kuwa-baka so he fell in.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! I cant swim! I'm drowning! Help!" Kuwabara yelled between gulps of water.

"He still isn't shut up." Hiei pointed out to Yusuke.

Yusuke knocked him out and dragged (literally dragged) him out of the pond.

"Okay done, now were could those demons have gone?" Yusuke asked.

Kuwabara became conscious all of a sudden and yelled, "Ningenkai! No one would suspect it!"

"Oh shut up." Yusuke said kicking him returning him to his unconscious state.

"But he does have a point." Koenma said popping out of nowhere.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Yusuke said falling over. Kurama was trying to hold in laughter.

"Would you stop doing that!" Yusuke snapped jumping up.

"Whoa." Koenma stated wobbling from the force of Yusuke's voice.

"So Koenma are we going to search Ningenkai, Makai, or Rekai?" Kurama asked being the one to cut to the chase.

"Well I'm not sure but if you all could check Ningenkai first it would greatly limit our search." Koenma said regaining his hearing.

"Your not sure? Well then can you contact us when you get further information?" Kurama asked.

"Yes here carry this and I will contact you with further information." Koenma said handing Kurama a compact.

Kurama sweat dropped. "Ummmm sir, the girly jokes are already bad. Your just going to make them worse making me carry a compact." Kurama said.

"Would you rather it have been the eye shadow?" Koenma said.

"What is with you and your obsession with communicators in the shape of make up?" Kurama asked.

"I refuse to answer that question. Now off you go all of you." Koenma said forming a portal under their feet. They fell in.

With Ember, Ronin, and Shiva

Shiva had somehow woken up the two idiots and was now explaining to them were they were and how they got there.

"You are in Ningenkai and you fell through a portal." Shiva repeated for the millionth time.

"Huh?" Ember said for the millionth time.

"Oh I swear you somehow gained even more brain damage with that hit on the head!" Shiva yelled.

"Impossible! I have no brain!" Ember yelled for the people in America to hear.

"Well that might explain it. And it doesn't matter how you got here. Ok?" Shiva asked looking at Ronin.

"Ok. But how am I going to remember without a brain?" Ember asked

"Magic." She retorted getting quite angry at this useless pawn in her plans.

"Now go get me a hat I cant be seen with ears poking out of my head. I will send you because Ronin is worse and denser so I must keep him here or he might get himself killed. Ok?" Shiva asked.

"Ummmmm... is the answer cheese?" Ember asked looking quite puzzled.

"Yes now go get the hat." Shiva said to him.

"Ok Ms.Bossy Bitch! I will not fail you!" Ember said saluting her as if it were the military and marching out of the alleyway. "_What a loser..."_ Shiva thought as he marched away and tripped falling flat on his face but getting back up and marching like nothing had just happened.

With Ember

"What's a hat...?" Ember said to himself when he passed by a shop that said 'Hats-R-Us' he used the peanut in his head to figure out that whatever was inside that store was probably what Shiva wanted.

Back to Shiva and Ronin

Shiva was sitting on a box when she heard singing. She turned to see Ronin in the corner of the alleyway doing a handstand singing some song about smoking with your homies.

"Ummm Ronin what are you singing?" Shiva asked.

Ronin's shirt fell...up? down? ummm DOWN:D (took me awhile sorry) Ronin then stopped singing and tried to blow his shirt back up. Queue anime sweat drops on Shiva's head.

"Hello guys! Here I got you a hat and some pants." Ember said throwing her a bag with a silver beanie and some blue jeans in it. Ember then walked up to Ronin trying to blow his shirt up to its normal state.

"Have you just been staring at him, Shiva?" Ember asked.

"Yeah why?" Shiva said.

"You perverted little wolf, Just staring at his bare muscled chest!" Ember yelled getting in an 'lets do an over the edge emotion' pose and pointing at Shiva.

When Shiva just stood there confused Ember fixed Ronin's shirt and did a handstand himself and they both sang. Until their shirts fell that is then they were both trying to blow them back up.


	2. Flaming Balls of Fire

Chapter Two

Maybe they are in that large flaming ball!

Shiva was dragging her two lackeys because they were unconscious due to the being upside down and blowing. She came to an abandoned building and threw Ronin and Ember inside before entering herself and closing the door.

"Hey wake up! What help are you to me if you just sleep instead of guarding me!" Shiva yelled.

Ronin woke up but Ember kept sleeping. "Why hello what may you three be doing here?" A voice said from the shadows.

"AH! Its a voice from above! Its come to eat me!" Ember screamed waking up and running in circles.

"I'm sorry we didn't know this shelter was taken. But may we stay here please?" Shiva said while hitting Ember and making him fall to the floor unconscious.

"Yeah sure this place is huge." The voice said. The figure walked out of the darkness to reveal Drum roll, our favorite crow demon KARASU!

"I'm Karasu, You?" Karasu asked.

"I'm Ember, that is Ronin, and the wicked bitch over there is Shiva!" Ember said happily dancing around Karasu as he woke up once again.

"Ok?" Karasu said as he stepped out of Embers prancing circle.

"Say I like your clothes. Can we trade clothes or something cuz those are sweet! You got the whole vampire goth thing going on! Pleeeeeez can I trade clothes with you." Ember said giving him puppy dog eyes.

"No."

"Why? Why cant I? Please? There is no reason I can't. Give me a good reason." Ember said determined to acquire vampire goth clothes cuz they looked cool and would probably scare every little kid within a mile. Therefore they were perfect for Ember.

"Because, I'm gay." Karasu said.

O.O..." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ember ran in circles screaming.

Then he grabbed Shiva. "I will prove I am not gay so you will leave me alone! Oh. Ummm. Eww. Never mind... Maybe later." Ember said realizing he had Shiva in his arms he pushed her away like she was an evil flesh eating Martian from zlorforg...what zlorforg is, I have no clue. Ask Ember.

"And if I was gay! I would be gay with Ronin! Cuz he is my closest friend, So back off gay man!" Ember yelled and Ronin got a sick look on his face and turned slightly green.

With the gang

"Where should we search first?" Kurama asked.

"Hiei do you sense any demon energy nearby or something?" Yusuke asked.

"Yeah, but I think it might be Karasu's." Hiei said placing his headband back on.

"Lets avoid there." Kurama said quickly. And do I mean QUICKLY.

"O.K. Any other energy nearby?" Yusuke asked looking toward Hiei hopefully.

"That energy was the only one I sensed." Hiei said watching the detective's wonderful reaction.

"Ummmmmm, maybe they are with Karasu." Kuwabara said but was hit in the head by Yusuke's fist.

"Don't be stupid."

Back with the other gang...the demon ones you baka.

"I'm bored. I'm going to take a walk. Bye-Bye!" Ember said grabbing Ronin and setting out the door before Shiva could object.

A little while later (10 minutes) Ronin and Ember were walking and talking, until they saw 4 figures on the other side of the road about a mile up. They knew who they were instantly. Tantei. Ember and Ronin had one thought cross through their heads as they were about to encounter them.

It was "_Ah Shit." _Kurama then sensed an energy. (I'm not going to switch gangs seeing as they are 1/2 a mile away from each other.)

"Ummm Hiei you must be getting rusty. I sense a demonic aura up ahead." Kurama said as he looked at Hiei.

"Yeah I know but I didn't say anything. For all I knew Yusuke and Kuwabaka could have yelled and scared them away." Hiei said his eyes closed still.

They got nearer to the spot they sensed the energy from and saw no one there. "Where did they go?" Yusuke asked totally dumbfounded.

"Umm guys maybe they are in that large flaming ball!" Kuwabara said pointing toward a large ball of fire.

"OH MY GOD! FLAMING SPITBALLS!" Ronin said running in circles.

Then the flaming ball started to talk, "Ronin you baka I was suppose to be the diversion so you could escape and warn Shiva! You were not suppose to draw attention to yourself!"

"OH MY GOD IT TALKS TOO!" Ronin yelled still believing it was a flaming spitball...for whatever his reasons were.

The tantei looked over at the cat demon. "Hey we found one." Kurama said grabbing him by the shirt and wrapping him in vines so he cant escape.

"I'm guessing the other one is that talking spitball?" Yusuke said pointing toward the hovering ball of flames.

"FLAMING spitball if you were trying to mimic Ronin." The 'flaming' spitball corrected.

Yusuke looked at it like it was crazy...and even though he didn't know right now...it was.

"Lets just get this over with." Hiei said extinguishing the flames and making Ember float in the air for a whole 10 seconds. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ember said falling from the air and into the fire demons arms.

"Damn. I forgot you could do that." Ember said pouting.

"Hey wait? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Gay! Gay! Your with that other gay dude aren't you? The freaky goth one!" Ember yelled pointing at him after he jumped out of his arms.

"See guys I told you they were with Karasu." Kuwabara said, and was completely ignored.

"Well we caught two of the criminals. So there is one more, where do you suspect she is hiding?" Hiei asked.

"Why don't we ask one of them." Kurama pointed out cuz he is a smartass.

"Good idea. Ok umm you the fiery one. Where is that girl you were with?" Yusuke said to Ember.

"Yusuke like he is going to answer that. You must persuade him or something." Kurama said but just as he said it Ember answered, "Oh she is with the vampire gay dude at that abandoned warehouse about 2 miles away." Ember said pointing in the direction of the warehouse.

"Ummm Ok?" Kurama said thinking that clearly this guy was a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.

"Hey I just remembered something! Ember! Shiva said we weren't suppose to go within a 2 miles radius of these guys! And if we did not to talk to them!" Ronin said excitedly.

"Really? Wow must not have been paying much attention. Oops." Ember said realizing they broke every rule.

"Shiva is going to kill us when we get back isn't she?" Ronin asked.

"Well most likely...that is if these guys don't first." Ember said looking at yusuke like he was a pink elephant with a creepy Barbie smile.

"Nope. We just want to take you to meet someone. Lets say he is our friend." Yusuke said so they would stop staring at him.

"WooHoo! Were going to meet the wizard! The wonderful wizard of oz!" Ronin yelled as he hugged Ember.

Then they both broke into song and dance...well it was more like song and skipping. They both sang all the way to the warehouse like thing...the place Shiva was at. Whatever.

"Yay! We made it without getting raped or jumped!" Ronin said happily. And by the looks of the place it was a very likely place for rapist and muggers to hangout.

"Well lets go get this mutt and then we can go to Koenma's and get this over with." Yusuke said going inside followed by everyone else, Ronin and Ember in the back.

Shiva was asleep in a palette she had made. "_Hey this might be easier than I thought."_ Yusuke thought as he went up and took out a needle. (Just in case always carry a tranquilizer!) He injected her and carried her out of the abandoned warehouse to the street where a portal appeared. They all jumped in and disappeared.


	3. Why Me?

Chapter Three

Why me?

Ember looked around. They were inside an office that seemed to have no one in it besides them and the tantei. "Well it looks like you have caught the criminals." A voice said.

"**OH MY GOD THE VOICES AGAIN**!" Ember screamed as he ran in circles. Again.

"Ummm Yusuke? Are you trying to fool me? These criminals were highly dangerous." A small toddler appeared from behind a large stack of papers.

Ember stopped and looked at him. "Hello Mr. Talking baby!" Ember ran up to Koenma and picked him up spinning him and making baby noises.

"Ummmmmmm? What are you doing?" Koenma asked currently being hugged to death.

"Its soooooooo cute! And it talks! And it... stamps paperwork." Ember said still all happy like.

"I had one of them when I was little." Ronin said smiling.

"My mom never got me anything when I was little." Ember pouted.

"I wonder were she ever went..." Ember kind of added as a side thought.

"Are you going to let me down or are we going to stand here and do the tango?" Koenma asked...and let me tell you it was not wise.

"**TANGO**!" Ember then began doing the tango with poor little Koenma...While everyone else laughed, except Ronin of course he was cheering Ember on.

Shiva was dead. Yes dead. Lets just say an overdose of the tranquilizer...oops. Served that selfish bitch right though. When Ember was done he dropped Koenma and bowed to the clapping.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Everyone cheered. Which wasn't the smartest idea for the spirit detectives.

"**SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU OR DO YOU WANT TO BE FIRED**!" Koenma screamed at the poor detectives.

O.O Everyone immediately shut up. "Now about these 3." Koenma turned into his teen form so there wouldn't be a another accident.

"Actually its two" Yusuke said.

"What do you mean two?"

"I accidentally killed the girl."

"**Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay!**" Ember and Ronin chanted skipping around hand in hand cheering.

"Apparently this girl named Shiva here is the one that forced these two to help her escape." Kurama said being the smart one.

"Ok so these other two have no part. Then I guess we can let them off for it but only on one condition. They also become tantei." Koenma said hoping to piss everyone off. Hey they needed the payback from laughing at him. These two will run them ragged. He smirked. This plan was great.

"**WHAT**!" It worked everyone was in how do I put this...horror.

"Yup they shall become Tantei. And you Hiei will have to take care of them seeing as everyone else has school they will be busy. You will need to find them a house and I'm sure that Kurama can help with that part. And don't forget that I will have another mission for you in about a week. Bye-bye!" Koenma then created a portal and pushed them in.

"Why me?" Hiei asked. Everyone was sitting in Kurama's living room. Some were looking at real estate while others were questioning fate.

"Would you shut up Hiei. I'm almost beginning to believe the real Hiei has been abducted and been replaced by a whining baby." Yusuke was on the couch.

"...I hate you." Hiei was on the windowsill.

"Guys, guys can you please stop arguing, your scaring Ekichi" Kuwabara was on the floor playing with his cat.

"Will somebody please help me find a house? Other than these two." Kurama. Poor, poor Kurama was on the floor with a bunch of papers scattered everywhere. Next to him were Ember and Ronin.

"I like this one. No this one! Oooo, Oooo this one!"

"Are you crazy Ember? These are trailers!" Ronin seemed to have the very expensive mansions in mind.

"Guys! A more reasonable choice! Like this one. Four story's for only 1,000,000. It is the best unless you want to go house hunting." Kurama said the dreaded words.

"House hunting! House hunting!" Ember and Ronin were skipping in circles arm in arm.

"**STOP**!" Hiei put an end to all the talking and yelling. But not quite the dancing. Ember and Ronin were still skipping for joy...wow after that outburst I think only they could actually stand.

"Ouch..." Kurama was flipped over so his legs were sticking out and his back was against the wall and his head was currently on the floor. Must hurt seeing how its supporting him and all.

"I think I'm deaf." Yusuke said while he got up.

"Yes! Maybe now you will shut up because you can't hear anything." Hiei was in his rejoicing stage.

"No I'll still talk it just wont make sense."

Kurama was sitting up the right way and Ember and Ronin had finally stopped.

"Soooooo. Who knew Hiei was a loudmouth?"

"Soooooo. Who said that?"

"I think it was kurama."

"But your Yusuke."

"I am?"

"No."

"But I thought I was Ember."

"No it was Yusuke."

"Who are you?"

"I'm confused."

And so they quit speaking and Kurama finally broke the silence. "Well. Lets go house hunting tomorrow. You all can stay at my house seeing how you're already here."

"**You mean a sleepover**!" Ember and Ronin squealed.

"Yes, A sleepover." Kurama then slapped duct tape on there mouths and everyone stared.

"If you can't duct it, fuck it." He said and then left the room to sleep while everyone stared at him.

The next chapter will be house hunting. I will try and publish it sooner than this one. Enjoy.


	4. House Hunting

Chapter Four

House Hunting

"Good Morning." Kurama's mother said smiling and waking all the guests up. "Hello mom." Ronin said. "Good morning dear." She said.

Kurama just stared. "Mom, you didn't have to trouble yourself by waking everyone up." Kurama said as she attempted to wake Yusuke. And watched as his 'brother' sat up his hair all tussled.

"It's not a problem honey. Just hand me that box at your feet." Kurama looked at the blue package and handed it to his mother. She chucked it at Yusuke's head. (Lol, violent moms.) Yusuke fell out of the chair while everyone stared wide eyed. After about 10 more minutes and a couple more boxes to the head, everyone was awake.

"Ok, now like I've told you guys. There will be no horseplay, no yelling, nothing embarrassing. Got it?" Kurama asked as they approached a tan house.

"I think it looks pretty, like on of those haunted houses on those horror movies." "Ember, you idiot, its enchanted." Ember and Ronin were debating the house while Kurama pulled in the driveway.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The salesman asked. "We would like to see the house." Kurama said ever so kindly. "This way Sir'" Kurama looked at Ronin and Ember who were smiling like little angels. They even had the Halos to top it off. "This is the living room." The man said as he walked into a dank room with one dim lamp in the corner.

"This place is roomy." Ronin said grinning like an idiot. Right then a cockroach ran across the room. "I like it." He said picking up the cockroach. "Thank you sir, but I think we will look somewhere else." Kurama said. He went to grab Ronin's hand and drag him out but first flicked away the roach with a face full of disgust.

"Noooooooo! Buggy-chan!" Ronin yelled as a tear fell down his face.

They made it to the car and Kurama saw Yusuke and Kuwabara arguing in the back with a pissed Hiei in the front. "Well, I see you guys have been on your best behavior." Kurama said sarcastically. "They've, been, arguing, about, FRIKIN' CHEESE! Can I kill them? I really would like to kill them." Hiei said with a psychotic look on his face.

"Just calm down, Hiei. I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad." Kurama said trying to sound helpful. "Oh really? 'I like Brea.' 'Well I like Swiss!' Try going through that for an hour!" Hiei screamed.

"Ok, I'll take your for on it. Well this house was a disaster, so were onto the next one." Kurama got into the driver's seat as Ember and Ronin got in the middle seats. "Shut up back there. We get it, you like cheese." Ronin said turning around and whacking them on the head.

The rest of the ride was quite silent except for the humming of Ember, which was silenced by Ronin smacking the back of his head. "Eep!" Ember shut up after that.

"I spy with my little eye, something…….red." Ember said, then was kicked in the shin by Ronin. "OW! Ok I'll shut up now!" Ember pouted.

Just then they drove up to a large crimson painted house. "oooooooooooooooooo" Ronin said wide-eyed. They got out of the car again and this time Hiei joined them. There was a cleanlier looking salesman standing in front of this house.

"How may I help you?" He asked. "We would like to take a look at the house." Kurama said ever so kindly. "Wow this seems familiar." Ember said. Kurama then turned around and kicked him in the shin when the salesman wasn't looking. Ronin pointed and laughed childishly. Ember glared.

They walked into the house, and let me tell you, it wasn't like the other at all. "I already like it." Ronin said. Ember nodded in agreement. They walked into a kitchen, that was connected to the living room, as well as the dining room and hallway they just walked through.

"This is nice." Kurama noted. "And there is a second floor." The man led them back through the hallway to the stairway. "And to the left of the stairway is an extra room." The man said. "Yeah, I didn't see that one." Ronin said sarcastically.

They walked up the stairs and found themselves in a mini hallway. "To the right are two bedrooms, directly in front of us is yet another, to the left is a bathroom, and further left down that path is the master bedroom." The man said smiling.

He turned to see Ronin snuggling in the black plush carpet and Ember hugging the wall. "We'll take it." Kurama said.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Sorry this chapter is so short. I just haven't updated in a while, and well. This one is written closer together.


End file.
